I was happily married to the man of my dreams and mother to the sweetest, most beautiful little boy in the world. I was living the life I’d always imagined, a few years short of the white picket fence.

Once upon a time, I was happy, really happy.

As the saying goes, life can change on a dime, and for me, it did. In what felt like an instant, I lost everything: my mother, grandfather, husband, and son. My identity, my foundation, my world, ripped out from under me.

The story of my life now weighed in the fragile balance of choice. Lying on my son’s empty bed, screaming to the heavens, “Mercy!” I faced an incomprehensible truth: “Who Am I Now?”

Since that day, that heart-wrenching day, I’ve learned that choice is much more than a word. Choice is both a benevolent ally and a malevolent opponent, a powerful and unwavering force.

After many years of determination and healing, I’ve come to realize that I was never a granddaughter, daughter, wife, or mother. Not really. Those titles don’t define who I am. Those titles created a space for me to share who I am.

So, who am I? I’m the same person I’ve always been; the creator of my life and happiness. I didn’t understand it then, but now I can see how the death and darkness of one reality – intertwined with choice – can become the conception and birthing place of a new reality.

Once upon a time, the choice of ending my story was a comforting thought. Today, looking back, that choice would have been the gravest mistake of my life.

We won’t find comfort in the effort it takes to become the person we’re meant to be, the person we want to be. There is, however, great joy when we let that person begin to shine. Each day brings a new set of challenges. From experience, I’ve learned that those challenges also hold great opportunities.

I believe within each of us is a power beyond measure, a strength too large to fit into a box of titles. I believe a new world is always within reach, and choice is the only thing that stands in our way.

My wish is we never lose hope for creating a life we love. No matter what life brings, even if that life looks vastly different than the lives we’ve already lived.